


A Loss Unseen

by MorningPanda



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Additional Warnings In Author's Note, Angst, Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie) Spoilers, Death, F/M, Loss, romanogers - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-31
Updated: 2018-07-31
Packaged: 2019-06-19 15:09:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 696
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15512547
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MorningPanda/pseuds/MorningPanda
Summary: The battle is over, and they've lost. However some have lost more than others.My take on the "Natasha was pregnant" theory that I've seen floating around.





	A Loss Unseen

**Author's Note:**

> Warning! This fic contains a miscarriage. No graphic descriptions, but please proceed with caution.

Natasha watched as soldiers and warriors, her temporary brothers in arms, vanished before her, turning to dust in the wind. It was oddly mesmerizing until she realized what it meant. They’d lost. It wasn’t a blood loss, the kind she was used to, it was soft, and much more heartbreaking. There would be no bodies to mourn, just dust. That’s when the realization finally hit her. Steve. Without looking back, she tore across the Wakandan field, her only thoughts, a mantra of No, no, please God no, Steve, no, no. 

As she finally rounded the thicket of trees to Steve’s last known location, she saw Bruce first and her heart broke. There was no way the universe would have let both him and Steve live. She knew where her heart truly lied, but Bruce’s understanding and compassion when she told him… she didn’t deserve either of these men and now she would have to live without the one she’d finally let herself have. As she rounded the bend her heart broke into a million pieces. Until she looked to the ground. 

There he was, her golden haired, moral to a fault soldier, sitting, staring off into the sky, so lost. Natasha tried to contain her relief at the sight of him, because she knew what that look meant. Bucky hadn’t made it. Steve had spent years trying to save his best friend and now all that love, effort, time, and history was gone in an instant. Steve would need time, and she’d give it to him. After all he was here, and in that moment, it was enough for her.  
After adjusting to the scene before her, Steve, alive and grieving, Natasha took stock of the losses they had suffered. Sam was nowhere to be seen, Vision lay cold, grey, and dead at Steve’s side, a pile of dust covering his artificial corpse. In that second Natasha had to hold back tears. Wanda was a sister, even a daughter to her. They had been the strong female voices in their little nomadic family. Natasha had known how much Wanda loved Vision, she was even the one that started scheduling “breaks” for them to meet up and spend time together. She wanted Wanda to have a little happiness, the freedom to just be with her lover, the way Natasha never felt she could. Wanda was the closest thing Natasha had had to a daughter in the past few years and the girl’s death hit much more strongly because of it. 

Nat knew for the longest time she wasn’t a very sentimental person, but this day almost proved to be too much. She felt like she could throw up, sob, scream, and do all the melodramatic things grief-stricken people do in movies and still feel completely rational. That’s when it happened, the thing that completely broke Natasha Romanov. 

It was small, no one looking at her on the outside would have noticed it, but suddenly Natasha felt a strong feeling of emptiness followed by a small twinging pain in her stomach. She placed a hand over her abdomen, attempting to fix that feeling of gone. The realization struck her like a freight train. It had been weeks ago, and she had passed it off as a fluke. She was sterile, the Red Room had made sure of that, yet her symptoms were enough on the nose she took one of those ridiculous tests where you pee on a stick. She took them over, and over again, each one came back positive. However, Natasha valued herself as a rational person and knew that it couldn’t possibly be true, so she ignored it. But every test, every sign, had been right, and now she’d lost the one thing she always craved, but taught herself not to want. 

Without regard to anyone, Natasha fell to her knees under the hot Wakandan sun and cried for a loss no one, but her could feel. As she keened, Steve’s deep blue eyes met hers with a desperate, understanding sadness and silent tears fell down his face. For the first time in a long time, Natasha felt her soul crumble beyond repair. He knew.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading.


End file.
